It is not strange for a couple to discover that they are going to be parents, when that is the last situation they would have liked to face in life.
An unplanned pregnancy can cause psychological torture in the minds of some young people.
In this article, I want to share unplanned pregnancy advice with young people so that they can ride this storm, if they happen to find themselves in such a situation.
So, what should you do if you discover you are going to have a baby you have not planned for?
1. The Boyfriend Should Support His Girlfriend
The first thing to do when you get to know that your girlfriend is going to have a baby is to pledge your support for her. Assure her of your love and pledge to stick with her.
Additionally, encourage her by telling her that all shall be well. Let her feel that she did not make a mistake by choosing to accept you as her boyfriend.
Avoid saying words such as, “Are you a kid! How could you allow yourself to get pregnant! I am not ready to have a baby! You must abort it or else it is over!” That is pride which you must swallow in the interest of the baby.
Understand that your girlfriend is going through emotional upheaval. So, say words that will soothe her spirit and calm her down.
2. Accept the Reality
You have to face the fact that you are both going to be new parents very soon. therefore, channels all your enegrgies and emotions into discussing what you will do now to salvage the situation, and not on blaming each other, accusing each other, and wallowing in self-pity.
3. Forget the Past
Focusing on the past and on the mistake you have made is like driving on a road with your eyes fixed on the rearview mirror.
Yes, occasionally think about the mistake you have made so that you can learn lessons from it–lessons which will help you to avoid this mistake again in the future. However, both of you need to concentrate on the road ahead. Try to keep your eyes fixed on the future.
Furthermore, forgive yourself and forgive your partner. Remind yourself that as human s you are, you are bound to make terrible mistakes sometimes.
Forgiving yourself will give both of you peace of mind so that you can both use the whole of your mental faculties to having brainstorming sessions to come up with constructive ideas to help resolve the problem.
4. Choose to Be Resilient
An unplanned pregnancy can be very stressful for youth, especially if you are both teenagers. This is because you are already going through internal changes which you sometimes find difficult to come to terms with. So, when such a negative external change is added, it can make you feel that the whole world is coming to an end.
So, you must choose to be resilient so that you will be able to weather the storm and get on with your life. Resilience is the ability to recover from shocking news or disappointments without going to pieces, or learning to adjust to change.
Choosing to be resilient will help you in three ways:
· It will help you to endure the new situation so that it does not adversely affect your studies or your work;
· It will help you to look at the seeming terrible situation and see an opportunity in it;
· You are less likely to start taking drugs or drinking alcohol when you feel overwhelmed by your new situation.
5. Try to Be Patient With Your Lover
An unplanned pregnancy in a relationship can cause all sorts of emotions to rise in your partner. This will cause your lover to feel confused as he or she tries to decide how to feel about the whole situation and which option to choose to solve the problem.
Therefore, the man or woman who was so loving can suddenly start treating you as if he or she does not love you anymore.
So, you will need to exercise some patience and try to understand that your partner may not be thinking straight at this moment. This will help to prevent misunderstandings and fights which will break your front as a loving couple. At this time, what you need is teamwork and cooperation, and not division.
6. Estimate the Financial Cost of Taking Care of a Baby
One unplanned pregnancy in a relationship advice which you must consider is to find out how much you will need in order to take care of your baby from the website of the US Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion. (cnpp.usda.gov).
Consider taking up more jobs or starting a home-based job or doing online work. For example, working as a writer or editor online can help you to make about $61,240 a year, according to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics. Writing and editing are jobs anyone without prior experience can learn how to do easily.
7. Choose Not to Abort the Baby
Some young men and women choose to abort a baby because they feel they cannot cater for a baby financially, or because they feel they are not in a position to handle the responsibilities that go with looking after a baby.
However, this contravenes God’s command not to kill, for in God’s eyes a fetus is a living being and so destroying a fetus is murder in His eyes.
So, have faith in God and believe He will provide ways for you to take care of the baby. Furthermore, remind yourself that the baby in the mother’s womb can be a blessing for the two of you, if you choose to keep it.
Additionally, do not forget that there are options you can consider. For example, you can give your baby up for adoption, or you can fall on relatives and friends to help you take care of the baby.